Something New

So I've starting something new with this pregnancy, and it is working so amazingly. Whenever I'm having a freak out moment (there have been lots in the last few weeks), I have been telling myself "it will be ok. Everything is fine. I will be ok." A deep breath and then I'm usually ok. I've also started a quick prayer every night (or every night I remember, which is most nights), before I go to bed. I just thank God for this little miracle, and to keep my baby safe, healthy, and growing, and I ask for peace and health for myself. That's it.

This is making me feel so good!! And it's helping so much with my fears and worries. I know I know, I should have started this long ago, but better late than never!

A little boy of about 5 at work this week, while I was giving a break, was being violent and smacked me right in my tummy. I had a freak out moment(s!!), completed the break, and decided to give myself a minute to collect myself. I took a potty break, and while in the potty I sent up a quick prayer for safety, peace, and well being for the baby. I felt myself calming down within moments, and was able to finish the work day with minimal stress. It also really helps that I have a co-worker who knows about the pregnancy, so I can keep her in the loop , and she has been quite helpful in keeping me calm as well.

Almost 7 weeks, and my nausea has become more frequent and stronger. I'm glad though, morning sickness is a good sign!  Everything seems to be going well, and I'm quite happy.

Well

It's been 2 weeks, and everything is still great. I'll be 6 weeks on Tuesday the 25th, which is exciting. 2 more weeks until my first appointment. I've already had some pregnancy symptoms, which is exciting in and of itself. I've never really had them too much with my previous pregnancies, and especially not this early. I've been having breast tenderness and mild nausea, and I swear I have to pee every 5 minutes already. My pants are already becoming tight too, I get uncomfortable easily in my jeans after only a few hours. Thankfully a friend of mine from work knows (I figure if something bad happens at work, I have someone who knows and can give support, I'm not telling work until after 13 weeks either), and she has been a great help with all the weird things that are happening so far.

I was worried for a few days, since I had about 2 days of mild, uncomfortable cramping, but she reassured me it was probably implantation cramping. She has really been helping me keep calm about everything. I still have momentary fear every time I go potty, that I will find blood, but those feelings have lessened this week. Still staying positive, I still have a great feeling about this baby. \

Ken and I took a mini vacation to Portland for our 5th wedding anniversary, (we actually just got back today), and we got a chance to talk, really talk about his feelings. I've felt before that the whole trying for a baby really affected him as much as it has for me. So I asked him how he felt about the positive pregnancy test, and he told me that he is over the moon excited, he can't wait. He has a good feeling too, and is ready for whatever it takes to support me and the baby. Definitely makes me feel better about all this.

Hope

Well it is official. I took a test on Wednesday night after I came home, and a pale pink second line showed up!!

I'm Pregnant!!!!!

Right now I'm around 4 weeks, and I have have already made my first OB appointment. My new doctor is Dr Dickson (I'm pretty sure I went to school with one of her daughters), and the appointment is on the 8th, when I'll be 8 weeks. I told Dr Dickson's nurse that I have had 2 previous miscarriages, and she said if I want, I can come in and do a blood test to monitor my levels but I don't think I want that. She also said that if I see any bleeding at all, don't hesitate to call her.

That said, if you are reading this and I haven't already told you in person/call, I apologize. My previous losses are making me nervous, and I don't want to have to tell everyone again if I do miscarry. Make it easier on myself and Ken.

That also being said, if you are reading this, please do not tell anyone else. I want to wait until the heartbeat appointment until I tell the free world. I'm trying to be optimistic but I am still nervous about this whole thing. Obviously so.

Please continue positive thoughts and prayers for me, and I will continue updates as they come I guess. Thanks everyone!

Maybe??

I may be getting too excited, but according to my calendar tracking, my period comes every 3 weeks, so it should start this week. Well I looked at it and this week, starting last Sunday, the 2nd, to I'm assuming tomorrow, saturday-ish. I'm trying not to hold my breath, but I haven't gotten it yet. Maybe my calculations of when to expect it are wrong, I don't know. I will not be surprised if I get it. I'm also going to wait until the mid to end of next week, the week of the 14th, before I test.
I've told Ken already that I'm sort of late, and he told me not to get too excited either. I know I know, don't have high expectations. I'm honestly trying not to. He is excited about the possibility though. Gave me a high five, ha!

I guess we will see what happens in the next week. I really hope I don't have to write a retraction post.