A dear friend of mine is undergoing the process to become a foster parent, and through work, I know someone who is trying the foster to adopt option through DSHS. My dear friend has agreed to go with me to an orientation, to find out more about the process and what exactly it would be like. I don't want to do the fostering (I think I'm too emotional of a person to have a child and then have to say goodbye, over and over) but the fostering to adopt (and they have an option that is just straight adopting through DSHS) is of interest to me. I want to find out more about the program and what it would take, see if it is the right avenue for Ken and I.
We still have not been to the Gyft Clinic, mainly because of other medial bills that have accrued from testings I've had done during our year of trying. We want to have those taken care of before having the possibility of more. I also don't want to ask for too much time off for appointments this close to the holidays, I would rather save my paid days for other things in the next 6 months.
To be honest, baby making is really on the back burner. It is not all consuming for me, as it once was.If it were to happen naturally right now, I'd be over the moon, but I'm not actively seeking whatever it takes, and neither is Ken. We are enjoying each other, enjoying life right now. Some days are better than others though.
I've noticed on a whole though, that I don't become as angry or upset about my friends and their pregnancies, or new births. I can honestly say I'm 95% happy for them. I don't think I'll ever not have those moments of jealousy or hurt. Things are better. I am leaning not on my own understanding, and I've been praying more in my moments of weakness and anger. Also in moments where I normally wouldn't, not just when I'm upset. I like it.
A recent visit with my mom gave me another avenue of relatively easy exploration though. She told me of a herbal supplement that everyone she knows who has had trouble conceiving and took this, became pregnant within 3 months, including my oldest sister. It's called Black Cohosh, and I guess it helps regulate female hormones. Can't hurt to try right? I'm doing a little more research into it before I purchase it, but I may start it in the next week or so, see what happens.
I'm trying to be ok, I really am. It's getting better.
