Ken told me around Christmas, that for my Christmas present, he wants me to take out my birth control and we can start trying for another baby. I want a 2nd baby. We are finally at an decent financial situation, so having a baby isn't difficult or unreasonable.
But I am also slightly terrified.
I'm terrified of having to go through the pain and anguish I went through trying to conceive our son. I'm afraid of the process taking almost 3 years again. I'm terrified that my health will/would impact conceiving and my pregnancy. I already know I can't have a healthy pregnancy at my weight. I'm almost 200 lbs at 5 ft even, so my weight is a big deal.
I'm scared of it being too difficult going from 1 to 2 children. I'm terrified of having a similar birth experience. My son was 9 days late, and an emergency c section after his heart rate dropped into the 60s at only 5 cm dilated. I'm nervous about how to balance full time work, 2 kids, a house, a husband, and still maintain myself and not lose "me". My son is my world, and I know he will be a great big brother, once he understands (he would be 4 when we have the baby if there are no complications).
I would love a baby. I loved being pregnant. But all of the unknowns are making me scared and not sure if it's a good idea.
I'm scared of it being too difficult going from 1 to 2 children. I'm terrified of having a similar birth experience. My son was 9 days late, and an emergency c section after his heart rate dropped into the 60s at only 5 cm dilated. I'm nervous about how to balance full time work, 2 kids, a house, a husband, and still maintain myself and not lose "me". My son is my world, and I know he will be a great big brother, once he understands (he would be 4 when we have the baby if there are no complications).
I would love a baby. I loved being pregnant. But all of the unknowns are making me scared and not sure if it's a good idea.
I haven't really talked my fears through with my husband, and usually I'm the positive one in the relationship. I'm a planner, so all this unknown just about makes me sick. I of course will hope and pray for great sticky baby dust.
But I am so scared. I can't go back to that dark place I was in, the 3 years it took to have Lex. I am so scared for everything. Is it normal to be scared?
