Almost week 16

So I've been feeling very weird this last week or so. I've been experiencing the round ligament pain more steadily, which I'm guessing is a good sign. And while Ken and I can notice very subtle changes, but I've been having feelings of that I'm not pregnant. I don't look pregnant like any other slimmer woman would at this point, and it's hard to imagine a baby the size of an avocado is swimming around in there somewhere. I'm really trying not to stress, I'm sure everything is fine, but it feels weird. I want to look pregnant. I think I should at almost 16 weeks right? Overall it all makes me worry that something is wrong, and I'm sure that feeling will not go away my entire pregnancy, no matter what I do.
So generally, feeling weird and sort of emotional this week, and trying not to worry or stress too much.
My OB was just slightly concerned that I had not gained any weight yet, and actually lost weight in the month I saw her last. I've been really trying to eat like a pig (healthily of course... mostly) but eating every 2 hours is really hard. It is easier at work, since the kids eat every 2 hours and I get a lunch break, but at home and the weekends is difficult. I'm not used to having to eat this much, so I've been getting annoyed when my tummy rumbles after I just ate something. Weight gain is harder than I thought it would be as well. My bathroom scale is off though I think, so it's hard to get an accurate reading. I think I've gained weight and the same afternoon it says I've lost. Kind of frustrating. Babycenter website said to eat a milkshake every day, it gives you added calories and calcium from the ice cream. If we weren't so broke that would be a great plan!

15 weeks and an update

Ok, so I've been meaning to write for a week now, and up until this moment, I haven't felt the desire or had the time. My 14 weeks appt went well, although it was short. She just heard the heartbeat again with the Doppler, and sent us on our way. We have more appointments at 18 and 20 weeks. 18 weeks is the blood test for genetic disorders, and 20 weeks will be when we (my mom) will find out the gender.
I don't think I've mentioned this yet on here, but Ken and I are doing our gender reveal a little different. My mom will be the only one to know, until we have a gender reveal party for friends and family. She may plan it differently, but I think she will order a cake that will be dyed either blue or pink, so when we cut into it, everyone and we will know. I think it will fun for everyone to guess and see what everyone thinks, and since Ken and I don't care about the gender, it will be a fun way to find out with our loved ones near.

I will be 15 weeks tomorrow (Tuesday), and I've already noticed some changes. It's not drastic yet, but I've personally noticed that my belly is bigger, and I think I am kind of showing, not just looking overweight now. Maybe that's me though, I can't tell. Bending over and down all day for work is getting more difficult already too, I need to learn to squat. I may be in trouble in the coming weeks, haha. Everything is still going well.

14 weeks

I am SO NERVOUS for tomorrow!!!!!

I can picture this appointment going both ways, and I'm trying to keep calm, but the closer it comes to the time (tomorrow, the 26th, at 930 am), I am getting more and more nervous. My symptoms have lessened since 12 weeks, and I know that's normal. I guess I don't feel pregnant yet, because I'm not skinny, so I'm not showing. I have noticed that my belly is slightly bigger, but beyond that, it's a weird feeling. It's almost hard to picture a tiny child, a tiny being, a baby the size of a lemon, who weighs an ounce and a half, is swimming around somewhere in there. I guess it wont feel real until I see the ultrasound tomorrow and see the baby actually there, alive, heart beat strong, moving.

Prayers please, and thank you everyone.

Cravings and Aversions

So this is more for my own documentation, but I wanted to talk about my aversions and cravings I've been having. Last night was the most intense aversion, I was making oatmeal and my roommate left out the jar of peanut butter. It smelled funny and made me go "ugh" but then I sat down to eat, and immediately had to put my bowl down and run to the bathroom. Apparently I can eat it or even smell it now. Which is so sad because I love it! Ken is currently eating a box of peanut butter cheerios I bought because I had one bowl and couldn't continue. My other aversion so far is mustard. I don't like mustard at all anyway, but if it's mixed in something, like egg salad, I'm fine. Not anymore. So weird.

On to cravings: the main ones I can remember right now are fried chicken, wonton soup, and fries of any kind (not together!). My craving for wonton soup hasn't quite been fulfilled yet though, I ordered a carton a while ago, and while good, it wasn't the same soup I remembered eating from my childhood, which was disappointing. And I've discovered that my fried chicken has to be from Church's in Lakewood, other places, including safeway, it's not the same taste at all. At least fries are easy to fulfill.

Almost 12 weeks!!

Jonathon

So I looked up the meaning of the name Jonathon over the weekend.

"Gift of God".

Still not completely sold on it, either as a first or middle, but it definitely gives me something to think about.

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Still sick as ever, and everything seems to be going about the same as it has been. I guess I don't feel very pregnant though yet, maybe because I'm not showing yet? I don't know, some times I do, some times I don't. Weird feeling.11 weeks today though!!

Dreaming

I had a very vivid dream last night. Ken and I went in to the Dr for our 13 week ultrasound, and I remember being nervous about the outcome. Ken was gone for some reason as the DR was finding the heartbeat, and I was freaking out he was going to miss it. But it was there, strong and kicking! Ken came in right after, and the Dr also told us the baby was a boy! Ken and I also saw the baby move, my belly was going all over the place! We then decided to name him Jonathon.

I woke up happy but confused by the name Jonathon. I remember liking the name, sort of, a few years ago, but it's never been one that Ken and I have discussed. Time to discuss is maybe? I still like the middle name Alexander, but Logan I'm not sure of any more.
Ken came up with a new girl name too (wasn't feeling Abigail anymore either). Keep the middle name Joanne, which means "God is gracious", after my maternal grandmother,  and first name would be Elizabeth, which means "God's promise; God is my oath". We could call her Ellie or Ellie Jo for short. I think it's so cute! Definitely a keeper, but I need more time to make sure 100%.

Still sick as ever, as I', midway through week 10. I've actually vomited in the past week, which hasn't happened at all so far, just feeling sick. Good sign right?
I'm a little paranoid about taking anything during this trimester though. I head a headache the last 2 days, and the one coworker that knows tried to convince me to take Tylenol, and I know it's on the safe list, but I can't help but feel paranoid. I upped my water intake and kept eating every 2 hours, and it went away (eventually). I don't even want to take Tums for the heartburn I have now. The only medication I've been taking is my prescriptions for the asthma, my prenatal, a fish oil, and a calcium supplement. Really REALLY ready for my next appointment, I want to get over this first trimester hurdle and move on from the worry that this will all blow up in my face.

10 Weeks

Well it's 10 weeks tomorrow (Tuesday). Things have been steady, I ate a breakfast of saltines this morning since I was feeling so sick, and it continued throughout the day. I had some pain in my side late last week, but after looking it up, I'm pretty sure it was round ligament pain. Taken from What To Expect:
Lower abdominal achiness: Like so many pregnancy symptoms, round ligament pain (which is just a fancy name for those growing pains in that burgeoning belly of yours) is probably something you never expected. What’s causing them? The ligaments that support your belly are stretching out (and getting thinner); and as your belly gets heavier, the weight pulls on the ligaments, causing pain (sharp or dull). The best thing to do is get off your feet and get comfy.

It only happened for two days and has since gone away, and I have had no warning signs of any kind, so I'm guessing that everything is still great. I'm still nervous to be excited, but the more I think about it, the more I think "I'm going to have a baby!!!"
I'm trying not to think too far into the future yet, not until we get to my next appointment at 13 weeks, but my mind has been going in opposite directions lately. Sometimes I can't help but think there won't be a heartbeat at 13 weeks, and other times I think of a gender reveal, registering, and baby showers. I'm so nervous, for either outcome! Still staying 90%, and going to church with Jared has helped the past 2 weeks. Planning to continue that throughout the pregnancy and beyond, if I can. Positive thoughts!

Side note: Heartburn and nausea at the same time is a weird feeling. That's not to mention gas and a headache! Oh pregnancy...

9 weeks

Ken and I went in today to hear the baby's heartbeat today. Everything went really well, Dr Dickson said the heartbeat was strong, at 175 bpm, and everything still looked great! I ended up crying once I heard the beat and heard everything was good. Ken even teared up a little. I won't have another appointment until 13 weeks (it was supposed to be 12, but Dr Dickson will be on vacation then, so one week later). Today has been such a great day!

 

I got another picture, and you can actually see features! Ken and I could both make out an arm or a leg in this one. Very exciting. 

I am nervous though. I know this is a different pregnancy, a whole different situation, and prayer will continue to be my future, but next week is the same time I had my missed miscarriage in my last pregnancy. And I still have another month until we're in the clear. I did some quick research, and I know the risk goes way down (between 4 and 14%) for a miscarriage now that I've heard the heartbeat, but I can't help but still be a little nervous. As before, continued prayer in the coming weeks would be most appreciated. Trying not to stress, and keep calm about all this. I know it will be fine, God is in control!

Next Step

Ok, it has been a bit since I last updated and I'm sorry for that. My health ha been bad the last few days, and I'm finally starting to feel like myself again.
My doctors appointment went great! I really like Dr Dickson, and she said everything looks perfect. She did a breast exam, a pap, and then gave me an ultrasound. She said the baby looked closer to 7 weeks than the 8 I estimated (which is fine), so my new due date in August 28th. She also said that she could see the heart beat, nice and strong, and she tried to listen for it. It was really faint, but I heard it!!! She said because of my history, that we'd have another appointment on the 22nd to really hear the heart beat, at 9 weeks. Definitely made me feel better about the whole situation, I'm really thankful. Her nurse is nice too, which is a plus. And I got a picture! Dr Dickson said the heart beat was at 155 beats per minute that day, which I then told my mom, and she said she thinks it's a boy lol.Not the first time I've heard that, but we'll see, I don't care either way.

So now it's a waiting game until the 22nd, and Ken took the day off so he's coming with me. Maybe I'll try to make a recording it so I can post it here too.
Things are definitely getting better, and this appointment just made me so much more confident about the pregnancy. Please continue praying for me, I'm still nervous about the possibility of another missed miscarriage, which is entirely possible. One more week!

Nerves and Worries

These last few days have been difficult. Ken has been stressing me out emotionally, and I've been feeling distant to him emotionally as well. I think he's just stressing out about baby expenses and money already, he's mentioned it a few times, but having him stressed makes me stressed. And the closer I get to my Dr appointment and the farther along I get, the more nervous I feel. I can't help but worry about the heartbeat appointment coming up in the next 3-4 weeks. It's been more difficult to stay positive and relax, I can't help it.
Today, I also smelled blood as I was going potty, like it was on my underwear. No  actual blood, just the smell. That also has me worried. I'm still praying, still staying positive, but these last few days have been hard.

It's also been so hard not to tell people. I don't like hiding it from people. During New Years Eve, there were 5 people, close friends of mine, that I desperately wanted to tell, but couldn't. I don't like it, and I want to tell the whole world, but I'm so nervous about this going bad.

Please continue praying for me, this has been a rough few days. Positive thoughts!