Saturday, August 27, 2011
I HATE THIS
I hate this. I hate this with every fiber of my being. Why? What am I doing wrong? What are we doing wrong? Just when I have tiny shred of hope that something happened, and am having a great day with friends, does my period have to come in and ruin it. I am so disappointed, frustrated, pissed off, hurt.... both sides of this spectrum absolutely suck. Waiting for conception. Conception happening and then trying to keep it. Why is having a baby such a hard experience for me? Why after a whole month nothing has happened. I can't help but feel so jealous of other women and their easy fertility. Bam, one time and it happens. Not for me. But when? Will it ever? Will I have unexplained infertility? Is this a complication that never manifested itself until now fro the D&C? I know I can deal with the stress and the fear of another miscarriage, but now the problem is conceiving. Why is this so hard? All I want is to understand. To understand why this is happening, when will I get pregnant again, what if anything am I doing wrong? I don't know if I can take much more this end of the month disappointment. This is one of the most horrible feelings I've ever had in my life.
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2 comments:
*hugs* I know it doesn't help but I was told that it takes the "average" couple 3 to 6 months to conceive. So don't start doubting your ability to conceive yet! Also, stress can make it harder as well so before you guys try maybe try to have some sort of relaxing routine or something. A bubble bath together (or just you!), give massages, or maybe just put on some quiet music in a quiet room and curl up with a book for 15 or 20 minutes. Give yourself time to relax and let the stress fall away before you guys have your time together. *hugs again*
I know, my mom said the same thing, and that not stressing will help, but it's so hard when it it literally all I think about. *sigh*
I'm trying, I really am.
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