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That's what I have to go through? Why can't they use a word other than scrape? It seems so scary, painful (physically and emotionally) and I know I'll have Ken there with me, but I am absolutely petrified. I was reading online from women who have had a missed miscarriage (that's what it's called I guess), and a lot of them found out the gender from the pathology and named the baby and some even had the baby cremated. I don't think that's something I want at all. I think it will be that much harder for me emotionally to know if my baby was an Abigail or Logan, and to see it afterward... that would be too much. The pictures below are of what my baby looks like right now though... It breaks my heart to see, he/she looks like a little human!
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I'm not really ready for going back to work and facing everyone, and probably hearing everyone ask about how I'm feeling and not know what happened and have to explain to them, or remain silent and let them think I'm still pregnant. I know Ken worries about money though, so I'm scared to ask him if he minds if I stay home again. Plus I'm probably not going to be able to go anywhere on Friday and possibly Saturday, and working one day in a week isn't great for a paycheck. I hate having to worry about money versus my emotional health. I don't know what to do.
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| My baby has arms and hands and feet! |
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| What the baby really looks like |
3 comments:
Your physical & emotional health comes first above all else. Give yourself time to grieve. Let me know if I can help financially or in any other way. Do you want me to come with you Friday?
Hi Roxanne, Hannah let me know what was going on. I'd like to tell you from experience that it will not be so bad. I miscarried the first time after being pregnant for 16 weeks, it was also a missed miscarriage. The doctor thought the baby had probably died at about 12 weeks. The thought of keeping the baby inside me for longer, and then experiencing a miscarriage was not a choice. I didn't want to wait. The D&C was simple. They drugged me, so though I was awake, I do not remember anything. I was glad to have that over and start healing.
It took us more than a year after that to get pregnant again. And that one too ended in miscarriage. Happily, though, we were able to get pregnant three months later, with the doctors approval- and Have Frankie. He'll be 15 next week. And then thinking we would have difficulty we started trying for another when Frankie was eight months old, and we have Lena! So, don't be too discouraged. We'll put you on the prayer list and send you good energy.
Kassi
Thank you so much Kassandra. Your viewpoint and comments are exactly what she needs to hear. I can only relate empathetically, since I've never experienced this first-hand. She needs to hear from those whom have "been there", and your soothing words are greatly appreciated.
Nancy
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