Confused is the word

Maybe all this stuff is stress related, but my mucus is still all wonky and I don't know what's going on. The certainty of my phone telling me what's going on with possibility of pregnancy is not there (like 2 stars out of 5) and maybe the weird thing is me. Maybe I'm misinterpreting what my body is showing. I have no clue. I almost feel like giving up. Some days I feel like time is running out, (of that year time period of actively trying before the talk is infertility) and other days I feel like 4-5 months is a long time to try. Heck, even moment to moment my mind changes about how I feel. It seems that, as of today and my feelings right this moment, I wan to give up the tracking, the stress, the phone app, all of it, and leave it to the powers that be, to God, to the universe.

Although as I say that, I can't. I can't really and truly. I'll always wonder, in the back of mind, what if I did track this time, and it worked? UGH. I think I need to try it at least, so as not to drive Ken and myself both crazy, if it hasn't all ready.

I had a long day yesterday, so I ended up laying down for bed early. I was reading for a bout an hour, ate some candy, and was about to turn off the light to sleep, but I started feeling really nauseated. It was bad enough I went to the bathroom and had my head in the toilet, but nothing. It subsided after about 15 minutes, so I really don't know. I guess wait and see.