So I've been meaning to write for a while, but things have gotten in the way, so there is a lot to talk about.

-Tuesday at work, I was laying my kiddos down for nap, and I try to keep one child in particular (he's just over a year old, also one of those kids I super connect with, and I love a lot!) up longer than everyone else, so he sleeps as long as everyone else. He was sitting in my lap with his blanket, and was helping me pat the other child's back. I asked him if he wanted to lay down on his bed, he shook his head no. I asked if he wanted to lay down on me, and he immediately put his head on my shoulder, and just snuggled in. I was kissing his forehead and relishing the moment, and then I had the overwhelming urge to cry, and only kept it together because a coworker came in for the dishes. I got the feeling of sadness just wash over me, because I want moments like that with my own child, and while loving on the kids in my class is good enough most days, it was really hard.

-I have still been feeling nauseated all this week, at random times, but especially around food. No food aversions, but I seem to feel sick after I start eating something that I normally eat just fine. My thoughts on this fact switch I swear every 5 seconds. One second I am convinced I'm pregnant, and the next I'm convinced I'm not. I'm trying to lean more towards not, just so my letdown isn't as bad if I am not indeed. I have another week until my period is due, or thereabouts, so I guess we'll see.