Confused

I really do think I need to make an appointment now. I've been tracking my mucus (sorry if this is TMI) to better predict ovulation (Ugh I honestly never even though I'd have to do this, but that's another post). And it seems that the indications that I'd be ovulating are all over the place. I've been reading up on it, and I've been experiencing what all the websites said should happen, but this month has been weird, I've gotten 2-3 days of days where what I'm interpreting would mean I'm ovulating or already did. And I'm so confused because they have been a week apart. So I don't know what to expect. My phone says to expect my Feb period by the 10th, but in case it doesn't show up then, I'm going to be a little skeptical, and give it another week to show up before I test. Just to make sure.

A coworker of mine told me a few days ago, that since she's discovered she can't have kids (we've talked about our own personal fertility issues before) that she's going to adopt. While I admire her courage, I hope she waits a little longer before starting the adoption process, to give herself time to grief her loss of fertility. That's kind of a big issue as a woman, to not be fertile. My heart grieves for her as well, because I cannot imagine the feelings she must have, after being told she will never have biological children. I hope and pray that I will never hear that news.

I am trying to be optimistic this month, keeping in mind we came close (sort of) last month, and that just because I haven't been pregnant the last 6 months, doesn't mean it still won't happen ever. I'm really trying, my optimism comes and goes. I guess I'll update again after the 10th.