Unsure

I've been thinking lately. I've been trying to make an appointment for that dye test the last 2 days, and for several reasons I have been unable to. I should get one scheduled tomorrow though. So anyway, I've been thinking....
I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. I had to stop myself today and wonder when I'll say enough is enough. What if this test doesn't go well, and what I need is surgery? What if I get the surgery and baby making still doesn't happen? Will I do IVF? Adoption? Foster? How badly do I really want children, how far will I go? I don't know how much more I can do this, take this toll on my emotional and mental health, how much more I can take on my marriage. I know Ken is apprehensive about spending a bunch of money on tests and treatments, just to get pregnant, and that's not even taking into account the financial aspect of once the baby is here (and that's if I can keep it, who says I won't have another miscarriage if I do get pregnant, then it that took a procedure that's like money wasted). I guess I'm trying to be a little bit of a realist here, and I haven't come up with a clear answer. I don't know when my stopping point is, but I think it's soon. I'm happy enough with my life as it is, I don't need to have children in order to be happy or survive. I would get over infertility. I just don't see myself going through years of procedures and complications and hopes and dreams and disappointments in order to have a baby. I guess a lot rides on this upcoming test, and depending what's going on, I guess that will depend my future. All I know is this roller coaster ride of trying to have a baby, and failing twice, and then trying to get pregnant for 9 months is getting old. Fast. I think it might be time to get off the ride.