Terrified

Ok is it normal for a mommy to be so overwhelmed and worried/terrified at this stage in the pregnancy? I feel like there is not enough. Not enough time, too much to do, not enough money, too much to buy still, not enough ready yet, too much to think about. Too much to worry about, as for the hospital, getting ready for labor, how I'm going to get everything prepped in a timely manner, the worries for what happens after my leave is over and I have to go back to work....

AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day, between work, commuting, dinner making, and spending time with my husband for little else regarding to cleaning, organizing, meal prep, or budgeting. 

I still feel like there are a lot of things that little Lex will need before he gets here, or soon thereafter, but trying to figure out how to pay for it is driving me crazy. Ken and I are having a hard enough time budgeting and saving for my leave (trying to cover bills for when I'm not working), that finding extra money for things like a infant bathtub, no scratch mittens, crib sheets, a mobile, an extra diaper bag, etc, is seemingly impossible. Not just that, but finding extra money for extra groceries so I can have freezer meals ready. Yeah, not sure sure how I'm going to do that. I can't expect Cyndi to be able to fill in that gap as far as paying for food when she's here helping... Don't get me started on where the extra money for helping her even GET here to see Lex will come from....

I definitely want to nest but after work I'm so tired, even thinking of cleaning more makes me want to scream. My to do list seems never ending, and while most of it I can do myself, I can't do it all. The nursery is almost ready, but I still have clothes to wash and sort and figure out my storage space for everything.

Ken and I still have to figure out the car seats, which also means cleaning out at least his car. I'd really like the stroller put together and ready before he's here too, in case I need to use it for whatever reason before Ken's 10 days of leave is up. I need to make Andy a small bag for Lex in case of emergencies. 

Thinking about all this makes my head want to explode!! And obviously trying to think about all of this at the same time is more than a little overwhelming. I'm trying to tackle the to do list as an every other week or something pace, so it's not too crazy. And I guess I have to suck it up and do at least something after work every day, since weekends will be nonexistent pretty much until Lex gets here. Oiy......