The Day After

Well it's Friday and the surgery went well and is complete. I'm so glad my mom was there with me, it was kind of a scary experience. It was a lot of waiting and answering health questions from about 9 am until 1115. Thankfully I was put out completely. All I can remember is I started to shiver in the OR because it was cold, and they gave me extra blankets and then I was waking up in the recovery room. I don't even remember being sleepy! It's ok though, it was good the way it worked out. I guess I lost more blood than expected, and almost needed a transfusion. Close but not quite thankfully. They said I lost about 150cc's which is just over 5 ounces. After about an hour in recovery (after I woke up all I wanted to do was go back to sleep, I was exhausted! Which is understandable with the blood loss) they wheeled me back into a room, and unfortunately kind of freaked out my mom out by not coming to get her in a timely manner. I was back in the room for almost an hour before someone finally found her in the waiting room. Dr Jung was really nice and came out to talk her after the surgery, and explained everything to her. But one thing was kind of unexpected:
The baby was actually 10 weeks when he/she died.
.....
This makes it a little harder. I was pregnant up until around late March, and my baby looked like a little person. I was so close... why did it happen? Dr Jung is running a battery of tests to answer that exact question, and do a lot of bloodwork for me in the coming weeks. I have to see him again in 2 weeks, and I'm hoping he'll have answers for Ken and I then. Although he wants us to wait 6 months to try again. He said more emotionally than anything, if we get pregnant sooner, nothing will be wrong physically, but he says I need time to heal and grieve. I wasn't very happy about that news, and still am not. But I'm trying to see this as the timing Ken and I will need to get this military/baby thing sorted out well enough to form a plan. I kind of don't want to wait that long, but I'm scared to get pregnant right away again. So I don't know. We'll have to see what happens I guess.
I can't say how I'm doing emotionally, I guess kind of numb at the moment, but physically I'm doing really good. All I did yesterday was rest, and today will probably be a resting day too. Not very much pain as of yet, mild cramping every now and then, and I'm on medication to help contract my uterus and help the bleeding stop. My headache from yesterday is gone, and I'm really hoping it doesn't return. I need to go out to buy more cat food today and get out of the house.

10 weeks... the baby actually looks like a baby. I guess that's the hard part about it, the baby had developed so far already, you can even see the ears! Would it be easier if he/she had died at 8 instead of 10? I don't know.