Sunday, June 23, 2013

31 weeks

Um, so can I just say how crazy it is that my pregnancy is almost over!? Every time I look at the ticker here on my blog, and the number of days I have until my due date gets lower, it's crazy, almost unbelievable! It seems so close! It's still a little hard to believe that this baby will be here soon and my life will be forever changed, even more so than it has already.

The nursery is still incomplete, and I'm starting to stress about it. Andy promises he will move this Tuesday on his day off, and even if we can just get the crib together, I'll feel better. I feel kind of overwhelmed by all we have left to do! Seems like a never ending list.

Thankfully my mom has taken the reins, and she and one of my sisters is hosting a baby shower for me. Feel better about that aspect, it should be a little crazy though, I think it ill be a pretty large party. I'm definitely looking forward to it.

Ken and I have finally registered for a birthing class, in late July. I'm getting nervous about the idea of labor and delivery, but I'm hoping the class will help with that fear. I know it will be ok with Ken and my mom there beside me. I'm also nervous about my job prospect when I get back from maternity leave. I have a feeling that this pregnancy may change how my employer feels about me, and I'm nervous to see what exactly that means. How much my job may change when I come back. There just seems to be so much uncertainty in the air, very overwhelming... between the next 2 months and getting stuff prepared, my job, the changes that will happen between Ken and I... I think the next 6 months will definitely be a crazy whirlwind of stuff, and it's hard to keep all in my head. I'm hoping the next few weeks will be ok and go smoothly, hopefully then it will make the rest of the next 6 months or so be ok too.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Grieving

I had to post. I've kind of had an epiphany. As some of you may remember, after my second miscarriage, I joined a support group. During one of my last meetings, another member passed out livestrong type bracelets, but were black and said grieving on them. To serve as a public statement to the world that I have been hurt, that I lost something, something so dear to me. I only took it off maybe a handful of times, and any time I did for whatever reason, I felt naked, that I had to rush home and put it back on. That my grieving process was not over, not even close, and I needed the bracelet to help keep me in check.
Well, Ken and I went to a work function of his, a casino night, which meant we dressed up a little. I took off my bracelet since it really didn't go with my nice dress. And I haven't felt the need since I've come home and changed to put it back on again. I honestly don't think I need it. It is in my jewelry box, just in case, but I love the fact that that part of my life, may be over.
Don't get me wrong, I'll never be completely over what happened and the loss of my two babies, but it doesn't feel so raw, so real, so awful any more. I'm not sure if baby Lex has something major to do with this, or time, or both. All I know is that this is a good feeling, and it has definitely been quite the journey to reach this point. God is so good, and I can't thank Him enough for the blessings He has given Ken and I.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

The 3rd Trimester!!

I can't believe we are in the last stretch of this pregnancy. Do I really only have 12 weeks left (give or take)? I keep wondering what my son will look like, how it will be when he is here. Will he look more like Ken or me? Both? Will he have dark hair or the platinum blonde Ken and I were both born with? I'm really curious to see him at last! Ken mentioned the other day "This baby needs to be here now!". I'm glad he is so excited, but this baby can cook as long as he needs to! Longer is better!

The nursery is finally ready to be put together (after we move Andy into the other bedroom, which should happen soon), and I'm hoping to get the main components up and ready before the end June. I wish I could repaint but I don't think there is enough time unfortunately. I'm really ready to start organizing and going through everything. There have been lots of families at work that have been awesome, and between those families, we now have another car seat with extra base, more clothes, a crib wedge, some decorations, and other random things. A parent at work told me too if we need anything to let her know, she has lots of stuff left over from her son (who is in my class). I figure I'll take her up on anything she's willing to give me, if I have extra or don't want some items, I can always sell it to a consignment shop. Can't hurt right?

I think the registries are pretty much complete, between Babies R Us and Target, I'm pretty confident we have everything we might still need. I think. Having Rachel help me with the Target list was great, she thought of a lot of things I didn't even think about. Definitely feels nice to have that taken care of.
Week 28!