36 weeks

Well I had my 36 week appointment on Tuesday, and Lex is still growing strong. My Dr said that he is getting big, and his heartbeat is still going strong, was in the 150's this time. She also said I'm dilated already (either 1/2 inch or 1 inch, I can't remember what she said now after the fact!), and she doesn't think I'm going to make it to my due date. I know it's more of a guessing game, but maybe the due date was wrong, and that was why Lex seems big? Possible. I need to finish some details with the packing of the hospital bag, but that is pretty much ready too. Kind of freaking out just slightly that he could come at any time... really hoping I don't go into labor at work, that kind of freaks me out.

I'm starting to feel better about getting prepped, there is very little left to get, it's more organizing everything and some extra cleaning, which shouldn't be too bad. Oh and figuring out how to install the car seats. I'm still feeling really good, and my energy is pretty good still as well. My hands and feet are swollen pretty much all of the time now, so I've switched my wedding rings to my necklace.

So overall, things are going much better, and beyond my worry about when and where I will go into labor, I'm feeling pretty positive about everything.

Progress

It may be a little thing, but all of Lex's clothes are officially organized!! Washed, dried, sorted, and organized in his room. I was also able to meal prep 6 meals today, which is a huge relief. Even if I can get 20 meals prepped and ready, I will feel better. I think 20 is a good goal before he gets here in 5ish weeks.
I also made a list of all the things we still really need (which isn't as much as I thought, a lot of stuff would be nice but this list is more of things I'll worry about if we don't get it before he gets here or very soon thereafter), and after this week I'm going to tackle my to do list on the fridge. At least the things i can do myself. I talked to Ken today about how overwhelmed I've been feeling, and he promised to help in the next few weeks. Definitely made me feel better.
Still have a few things to get together for the maternity photo shoot, but that will be easy to prep for. Not quite sure how I'll get a chance to do my hair the way I want it to be after working all day that day, but between my mom, the photographer, and myself, we'll figure it out.
I also started packing the mom and dad bags for the hospital today, and I think I'm about half way there. I need to get some extra toiletries I think, and pack some extra clothing and things for Lex, but after that, I can scratch that off the list too.

I'm definitely starting to feel better, even though it still seems like time is running out! 5 weeks! Unless he's late, but even then, 6 weeks maybe?? Eek! Excited and nervous at the same time!

Terrified

Ok is it normal for a mommy to be so overwhelmed and worried/terrified at this stage in the pregnancy? I feel like there is not enough. Not enough time, too much to do, not enough money, too much to buy still, not enough ready yet, too much to think about. Too much to worry about, as for the hospital, getting ready for labor, how I'm going to get everything prepped in a timely manner, the worries for what happens after my leave is over and I have to go back to work....

AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day, between work, commuting, dinner making, and spending time with my husband for little else regarding to cleaning, organizing, meal prep, or budgeting. 

I still feel like there are a lot of things that little Lex will need before he gets here, or soon thereafter, but trying to figure out how to pay for it is driving me crazy. Ken and I are having a hard enough time budgeting and saving for my leave (trying to cover bills for when I'm not working), that finding extra money for things like a infant bathtub, no scratch mittens, crib sheets, a mobile, an extra diaper bag, etc, is seemingly impossible. Not just that, but finding extra money for extra groceries so I can have freezer meals ready. Yeah, not sure sure how I'm going to do that. I can't expect Cyndi to be able to fill in that gap as far as paying for food when she's here helping... Don't get me started on where the extra money for helping her even GET here to see Lex will come from....

I definitely want to nest but after work I'm so tired, even thinking of cleaning more makes me want to scream. My to do list seems never ending, and while most of it I can do myself, I can't do it all. The nursery is almost ready, but I still have clothes to wash and sort and figure out my storage space for everything.

Ken and I still have to figure out the car seats, which also means cleaning out at least his car. I'd really like the stroller put together and ready before he's here too, in case I need to use it for whatever reason before Ken's 10 days of leave is up. I need to make Andy a small bag for Lex in case of emergencies. 

Thinking about all this makes my head want to explode!! And obviously trying to think about all of this at the same time is more than a little overwhelming. I'm trying to tackle the to do list as an every other week or something pace, so it's not too crazy. And I guess I have to suck it up and do at least something after work every day, since weekends will be nonexistent pretty much until Lex gets here. Oiy......

32 weeks

Late getting to this, but I thought I'd start anyway, at least every time I blog until I deliver.

How far along: 32 weeks, 3 days

How big is baby: weighs 3 3/4 pounds and is about 16.7 inches long

I have been feeling: Stressed and worried. We have nothing set up or ready yet, my house feels messy, and the urge to nest is hard to control. I don't want to nest too much yet since I have nothing ready, which is frustrating. Ken is also looking for a new job, and that coupled with our already strained finances is worrisome. Also super tired! Running out of energy very quickly now.

Total weight gain/loss? about 12ish pounds I think

Maternity clothes? I think I'm set. I have work pants, jeans, and 6 tops. The nylon or whatever on my pants gets annoying after several hours though.

Sleep? Getting better actually, but I still toss and turn a lot. 

Best moment this week? Getting plans ready for my first maternity shoot this weekend

Food cravings? Haven't had any for a while, but overall during the pregnancy it has been fried chicken, chocolate milk, fries, and pretzels.

Food aversions?  mustard and peanut butter

Gender? Boy all the way!

Labor signs? not that I'm aware of. Braxton Hicks jut recently started

Belly button in or out? Still in, but creeping towards an outie now

What I miss? sleeping on my stomach, so much!

What I'm looking forward to? My baby shower on the 13rd

I'm worried about: Finances, getting the nursery ready, all the stuff we have left to do.

Bump? Getting pretty big at this point

Next appointment: This Friday, July 5th.

Week 32!