Saturday, September 17, 2011

Conflicted

I feel so guilty and such a bad friend right now. I got a message from a dear friend of mine last night over facebook, asking what she should do, she thinks she had a miscarriage at about 2 weeks or so. She had goggled images and symptoms, and was really upset because she was happy about being pregnant and had been excited. She asked me for my advice since she didn't really know anyone else who would understand and her husband is away for Air Force training.
I feel conflicted because while I gave her the best advice I could under the circumstances (it's kind of hard to tell her anything since both of mine were farther along), I found myself upset and angry that she even asked. I know that not many women my age have had miscarriages, and I'm glad she asked, but the whole situation left me bitter. My heart hurts for her pain, and she has been nothing but supportive in my losses, but I couldn't help but find myself angry; she has two kids why does she want to get pregnant again already? If you think 2 weeks is hard and painful, try 5 and 10 weeks; how insensitive can she be?
Which of course, my anger and hurt turned into guilt, I shouldn't be angry, I shouldn't be jealous, I'm glad she came to me during such a hard time....

UGH. I so dearly love my husband. He makes everything better. We cuddled afterward and fell asleep, and he just made me feel better in general. Stil feeling bad today but trying to keep her perspective and be a better friend.

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