Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Lately...

I had another baby dream, but not about a baby. This time I was 9 months pregnant, about to pop. I remember touching, rubbing my baby belly, thinking about happy I was.

...........

All of this is so hard. All I think about, literally, unless I am doing a task, is on being pregnant, a baby, the possibility, thinking what if, thinking what's wrong if anything, dreaming...
I guess it used to be all my thoughts were on my passed babies, and now I'm focused all my thoughts on the future, what could happen. Please, give me some sort of sign, this and these feelings are too intense.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Like I told you on the phone...you need to try to stop thinking about everything so much and so intensly. Please do what I suggested to help your mind relax, and reduce the stress. You need to consciously make the decision to do whatever works to change your mind-set, whatever that might be. That is why women around you seem to get pregnant with no effort... they're not even thinking about having a baby...They're not even trying, and Bam!
I would suggest you talk to Dr Graman about these thoughts & feelings. He most likely might have ideas and exercises for your thought processes, and some ways to help you get through this more effectively and quickly. If you can't talk to him on the phone, make an appt to just chat with him. Tell them you need at least 1/2 hr. I would suggest you either print out your Blog & mail it to him ahead of time so he can see what your thought processes have been thru. Or give him the URL and ask him to read it before you meet. It'll save some time, so he'll know where to start with your conversation. You need to talk to someone that can get you onto the right path of thoughts. It CAN be done, and what I've suggested to you to try to help obviously hasn't helped.
Believe me, please. It's not something you have to overcome thru sheer willpower. There ARE solutions out there. You just need help to find them, and then put them into practice.
I love you so much, more than you could ever know. Please let me help you find ways to successfully relieve your pain and anguish. I am a nurse afterall, as well as your mom.