Friday, January 20, 2012

New Mantra

I'm trying to have a new mantra about this TTC crap and all the weird things I've been feeling lately.

This Will Be Worth It

Trying to keep this in the back of my head all the time. Because having a baby, when it does happen, will be worth it. It will be worth all this pain, struggle, frustration, anger, jealously, depression, sadness, and craziness that this process and journey has been and become. This will be worth it. This WILL be worth it.

My mom is creating a baby blanket for a friend (not sure if I've mentioned this before, can't remember) who is due this month. My mom also decided to make me a baby blanket, slowly, since it's not like she has a timeline or due date to be done by, just because. My mom has a knack for guessing the genders of babies, and has only been wrong once in all her years of guessing. My mom is making a pink baby blanket, she believes whenever I get pregnant again it will be a girl. Well I guess time will only tell. This makes me want to know the genders of my lost babies, I think that would help my grief and process. I wish I knew.

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