Thursday, March 15, 2012

A Thank You, A Prayer, And An Update

This week has been... easier. I have been receiving a lot of support lately from an awesome person, my dear friend Kacey. She has been very encouraging the last few weeks, and it's so great to know that someone is there, without me asking, to just encourage me in my struggles. I want to say thank you Kacey, you're an awesome friend, and thank you for sticking with me through this difficult time.
I know that other people (mainly my mom, Ken, and others) have helped me when there was no one else, and I thank you all for that too. I just wanted to give a special shout out to someone great.
She sent me this message today with a video, and I really like it (both the message and the video) so I decided to share both.
(from Kacey)
Hey I was listening to this song tonight while I was driving to school and I don't know why but it made me think of you. Its a really uplifting and powerful song. Actually brought me to tears today when i was having a rough day. Just wanted to remind you to keep your focus on Jesus and keep praying! God has great plans for you Roxanne. He has a purpose and a time for everything. Love you bunches! Hope this song is encouraging, if not its still a great listen!


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So something amazing happened the other night:
I had kind of a mini breakdown. I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep after a super stressful day, and I was feeling really down about every aspect of my life. My home, missing Ken, my work, my trying to conceive, everything. I ended up sobbing, could not stop my tears, and I did something I normally  probably would not do, but I prayed fervently to God, to help me, to bring peace to my mind and body,  to be with me in this time of distress. And I've never experienced this before, but maybe 2 minutes after praying, crying out to God with my hurt and tears and exhaustion, I stopped crying. I felt at peace. I felt like everything would be ok. It was kind of amazing. May not be much to others, but I had to share.

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I have an appointment with Dr Graman to talk and discuss maybe some testing on the 4th of April. I want him to test my thyroid and my testosterone levels, to make sure everything hormonal is ok. I need some answers as to why it's been 8 months and why I'm being driven crazy. I'm really hoping that I get some answers.

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